Here’s our little story for another rollicking misadventure with our folks from Smith Corners:

Wilray’s wife, Jettie Sue, has always been overly temperamental. She got that from her aged grandmother, Henrietta Harper, who finally passed a few days ago at the ripe old age of 97. Last night was the visitation at the D. Edsel A. Dewberry funeral Home. Wilray refused to attend because he has a terrible fear of seeing a corpse suddenly sitting up in a casket. That actually happened a few years ago, and he has been spooked ever since then. Now, after the visitation, the plan was for the body to be cremated during the night and properly “urned” for a memorial service to be held later the next day at Smith Chapel. So, after everyone left that evening, Mortician Edna Mae Harrison and her loyal assistant, Velveeta Del Montel, moved Granny Harper to the crematory out behind the funeral home and prepared her for the oven. North Carolina law states that a corpse must be in a box (usually cardboard) for the cremation, and all jewelry, etc—including pacemakers–removed. The process was set to begin at midnight, so Edna Mae went back to her office, planning to return just before then and flip the switches for the oven.

Two things went wrong: First, Jettie Sue apparently had slipped her grandmother’s diamond ring on her finger for the showing. It was a family heirloom, and she intended to retrieve it before she left that evening. However, she forgot, and Edna Mae never noticed it during the preparations. Also, the old lady’s pacemaker was still in her chest, even though the death certificate said there was none.

Thus, we come to our story. About midnight, Jettie Sue sat straight up in bed after remembering that she had forgotten the ring. She dragged Wilray up from a deep sleep and insisted that he go to the crematory and get it before the cremation began. He flatly refused, but she pitched a fit until he relented. She chased him out the door promising that she would call Edna Mae to meet him. That’s when the craziness began. Now, it’s the next morning—and Wilray is in jail—for setting the crematory on fire!